Sorry, that was my head banging the keyboard numerous times to release my frustration. Why are you frustrated, Anna? Thanks for asking, Viewer. I’m frustrated because I have to write four term (also called “research”) papers in two months. Yes. You read that correctly – FOUR!!!!!!! One’s due this Thursday – wish me luck.
So, amidst this torture my English classes have released upon me, I’ve come to realize what exactly it takes to write a term paper, and, being the kind and benevolent soul that I am (baha! Oh the sarcasm.), I thought I’d share with you my revelations.
How to Write a Term Paper in 5 Steps or Less
1. Go to www.google.com
2. Search “free term paper essays”
3. Download essay
4. Pick a few words and find synonyms for them
5. Turn it in
Actually, don’t do that. That’s called plagiarism. Which is bad. Real bad. I have come to personally hate the concept of plagiarism, because, in order to prevent it, I have to cite my sources, insert parenthetical documentation, and make an effort to think of something original myself. Why can’t, when it comes to term papers, we just adopt those great socialist and communist ideals of “everybody shares everything!” Wouldn’t that be glorious?! No more stress. No more sleepless nights. No more bibliographies. No more notecards!!
But, reality is never that great, is it, Viewer? No, Anna, it isn’t, you agree. On the bright side, I’ve discovered some great research topics in this process. Share, Anna, share! Okay, okay, Viewer, I’ll share a few.
How to Really Write a Term Paper
1. Document every source you glance at. Even if you don’t use it, cite it just to be safe.
2. Go one source at a time. Stay focused, and don’t go all “ADD” when looking at sources. Read them one by one.
3. On an internet search, don’t even look at stuff on a .com website. Go for .org’s or .gov’s. But try to use book/print sources as much as possible.
4. Don’t be close-minded. After researching all there is to know about The Pros and Cons of Personal Hygiene, you may have switched opinions in the process. That’s okay.
5. Be persuasive. After all, you don’t want to bore your reader to death with an 8 page paper of just facts and statistics. Put all that research to a good cause.
5 easy steps to make the term paper process slightly more bearable. Good luck, and may the gods of excellent research and writing abilities smile upon you.